The Motivational Benefits of Goal-Setting

When talking to students, parents, or soldiers about how they can be more resilient, one of the first things I stress is the importance of optimism. One myth about resilient people is they seem to have an endless supply of it. When they face adversity, they somehow stay positive, regardless of how difficult it was. Another misconception about resilient people is that they seem to be able to avoid these adversities altogether. They supposedly have the ability to navigate their way around them, destined for lifelong happiness, free of stress and pain. But it’s important to remember that these myths are just that: myths.

In reality, resilient people face the same challenges as anyone else. The difference is in the way they react to and interpret the events and experiences that cause them stress and pain.

They understand that it’s not the challenges themselves that hurt them in the long run, but rather their interpretation of said challenges that has the potential to be the most hurtful. Resilient people have learned to use adversity as an opportunity to grow and enhance their lives, rather than let themselves slowly deteriorate under the constant fear and anxiety of what life’s stressors may bring.

In order to demonstrate the mental toughness and ability to bounce back from these hardships, maintaining a certain level of optimism is crucial. Today, more than ever, we have obstacles coming at us from all sides. We are being tested like never before, so understandably staying positive day to day can be incredibly difficult.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just program ourselves to handle every situation perfectly? Unfortunately, that’s not possible; we are not robots, we’re human. We can’t just magically ignore the obstacles that are thrown our way or always be optimistic in the face of them. To make matters more difficult, humans also have a tendency to focus on the bad events in their lives instead of the good ones. It’s a pre-programmed defensive radar that helps us shield ourselves from any potential dangers that might harm us. Although this negativity bias is a useful survival mechanism, it often acts as our only filter for how we think and feel. Negative events naturally come to our minds faster.

Unfortunately, by doing this, we often forget to look for events in our lives that promote optimism. This leads to certain consequences. We might lose motivation at work, have less desire to strengthen connections with others, or have a reduced drive to complete the simple daily tasks that our lives require. How can we get this motivation back? How can we rewire our brains to think more optimistically and become more resilient?

One great way to generate more optimism is to set specific, meaningful, realistic goals for yourself. Accomplishing goals, even the smallest ones, builds momentum and positivity.

Goal-setting allows us to deliberately budget our energy, in a direct and intentional way, in order to achieve desired behaviors.

It can be used in response to adversity or to build our resiliency to a point that these challenges don’t affect us as harshly. Goal-setting increases motivation and persistence and promotes new strategies. All of these benefits help to build optimism.

Many of you, as self-aware individuals, may be asking yourselves, “but if I’m suffering from lack of motivation and feeling the weight of all of my stressors, obstacles, and adversities, how can I possibly accomplish any goals?” That’s a legitimate question. It’s extremely difficult to accomplish anything when we are having these feelings.

Is there a trick or some magic wand that we can use to erase the counterproductive thoughts and replace them with new ones? The answer is actually already within you.

When answering this type of question, I like to ask the individual, “what usually motivates you?” More often than not, their answers include family, not disappointing others, feeling a sense of accomplishment, and of course, money. These are valid answers, but they all share one thing in common: they come from external motivation.

When we attempt to accomplish goals based on the rewards that they offer or to avoid the punishment associated with failure to accomplish said goal, we are driven by external sources of motivation.

Although these external motivators can work for certain goals, they sometimes deter our progress as well. Over time, rewards are no longer as meaningful and punishments no longer have the same effect.

So what is already inside of us that we can use to maintain motivation, accomplish our goals, and build more optimism? The answer can be found in our personal, internal values and beliefs.

Instead of establishing a goal and trying to connect the reward that it may provide, try using an internal value or belief that you already possess and connect it to your goals.

Let’s say you have a goal to exercize more often in order to help you take care of your mental health, for instance. But the problem is that you hate exercizing; it seems more like a chore than something fun. The reward of staying on top of your mental health or the guilt you feel for not wanting to exercise will only motivate you for a short period of time before you decide to just stop pursuing the goal altogether.

But what if one of your internal values is your love of family. This can be leveraged as a source of motivation. Because you love your family, your new motivator could be setting a good example for your children. You would now be motivated by something that has always driven you. You wouldn’t have to search for something external, the source of motivation has always been there! And by using your internal values and beliefs, you can maintain motivation to accomplish any goal. Try it with any of your own personal values.

Using our beliefs helps us accomplish goals, which, no matter how small they are, builds optimism.

This in turn rewires our brains to think more positively, helps us build resilience, and ultimately, allows us to overcome the adversities we face each day. Being a resilient person isn’t something we either have or don’t have, it can be practiced daily. And it all starts within you!